April's Fools
by Allura99
Summary: Relena arranges for everyone to have a week long vacation at her home. However, with the whole gang involved, things will hardly go as Relena planned.
1. Part I

April's Fools  
  
Part I  
  
[All standard disclaimers apply.]  
  
"It is a tale/Told by an idiot,  
  
full of sound and fury/Signifying nothing."  
  
Macbeth (V.v.26-28)  
  
Relena smiled from behind the curtain as she watched Duo and Hilde walk up the drive to the front door, bickering the entire time she had been able to see them. She had invited everyone to a small house she owned in the country for a springtime vacation. As numerous date changes, everyone was able to clear their schedules for at least one week of rest and relaxation.  
  
Giggling like the schoolgirl she never really was, Relena replaced the curtain. They were going to have some fun this week. She just knew it.  
  
The doorbell rang. As she approached the front door, she could clearly hear the couple bantering with one another even through the thick wood. However, the pair stopped as the door opened, revealing their hostess for this little vacation.  
  
"Hey, Relena!" Duo cried, giving her a squeezing hug.  
  
"It's good to see you too, Duo," Relena managed to say before she was attacked similarly by Hilde.  
  
"Thanks again for inviting us," Hilde said happily, finally releasing the other woman. "I know that this week will be fun."  
  
Relena smiled and helped them carry their bags up the stairs to their rooms.  
  
"Yeah, we are definitely going to have some fun," Duo stated, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.  
  
Seeing the devilish gleam in the pilot's eye, Relena had a sinking feeling that her plans for the little gathering were about to go horribly astray. 


	2. Part II

April's Fools  
  
Part II  
  
[All standard disclaimers apply.]  
  
"I don't see where that would be a problem, Miss Relena," Pagan said, as the two were going over some last minute plans in the kitchen.  
  
"Good," Relena cried happily. "I want this little vacation to be perfect."  
  
The doorbell rang, signaling new arrivals. With a broad smile, she excused herself and headed into the hallway. If she was correct, Sally and Wufei were supposed to be the next to arrive.  
  
As she was about to open the front door, she paused at the "swoosh" sound and the following splash.  
  
"Maxwell!" an angry voice yelled.  
  
Praying to an unknown deity, Relena opened the door and gasped softly. Wufei was drenched to the bone, the bright rubber remains of the water balloon still clinging to his hair and shoulders. Sally, who was miraculously dry, was trying to remove the remains of the balloon and hide her laughter.  
  
Relena was so amazed by the scene on her front step that she almost missed Heero. The 01 pilot was still standing on the walk, smirking in his enjoyment of Duo's prank. Locking eyes with Relena, the smirk die and he merely nodded in her direction.  
  
"So help me, Maxwell, you'll pay for this!" Wufei cried, looking up at his tormentor.  
  
Sally placed a restraining hand on his shoulder. "Wufei, it was only a harmless prank!"  
  
"Yeah, lighten up, Wu-man!" Duo called.  
  
Wufei shrugged Sally's hand off. "Stay out of this, Onna," he ordered.  
  
He barreled past Relena and headed for the stairway that leads to the second floor. She was calling his name as a second "swoosh" ended with a splat. Sally smiled as she shook the water off her shoes.  
  
"Oops," Hilde called down, failing to hide her giggles.  
  
Sally shook her head. "You missed anyway."  
  
"Damn," Hilde cried.  
  
"I'm telling you, babe, this takes some finesse," Duo said.  
  
A door slammed in the floor above Relena's head. 'Oh, no,' she thought. 'Maybe this vacation wasn't such a good idea.'  
  
"Maxwell, I will show you the true meaning of justice," Wufei cried.  
  
"Gee, Wuffie, it was a joke," Duo protested. "Where's your sense of humor, man?"  
  
Sally entered the house and placed a reassuring hand on Relena's shoulder, wincing slightly as something fragile met its demise above them. "Things will settle in a while," she told Relena.  
  
"But will my house be standing?" Relena asked, closing her eyes as another crash resounded.  
  
Heero snorted as he entered and closed the door. "So much for your prefect little vacation, Relena." 


	3. Part III

April's Fools  
  
Part III  
  
[All standard disclaimers apply.]  
  
The door bell rang, interrupting the conversation in the kitchen. Excusing herself, Relena rose and left Trowa and Catherine to their coffees. Running a weary hand through her hair, Relena strode to the door and opened it.  
  
"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to be able to make it, Quatre," she stated, stepping back to allow her final guest to enter.  
  
"To be honest, I was, too, Relena," he replied with a smile. "Am I the last one to arrive?"  
  
She nodded, gently closing the door behind him. "Yes, Trowa and Catherine arrived just a few hours ago and are in the kitchen. The others are around here somewhere."  
  
"Even Heero?"  
  
She nodded. "I was surprised, as well, but he arrived the same time and Sally and Wufei. Let me show you to your room, so you can visit with everyone."  
  
As they climbed, Relena filled Quatre in on the various pranks Duo and Hilde had pulled since their arrival. "So far, they've mainly focused on Wufei, but I doubt it will be long until we all find ourselves victims," she concluded.  
  
Quatre chuckled. "Maybe not. It seems pretty quiet now."  
  
However, at that moment, they had reached the second floor. Neither one of them noticed the fishing line stretched ankle-high across the hallway. With a muffled shout, Relena tripped and slammed against the corner of a table before falling to the floor. In horror, she watched a valuable vase filled with fresh flowers and water crash into to the floor as well and shatter.  
  
"Relena, are you okay?" Quatre asked, stepping over the now-noticed fishing line and quickly helping his friend to her feet.  
  
"Nothing bruised but my shoulder and my pride," she murmured, glaring at the remains of the vase and the offending fishing line.  
  
She untied the fishing line and continued down the hall, indicating for Quatre to follow her. She paused outside the third door and knocked sharply. Her smile tightened when Duo's face appeared.  
  
"Hey, 'Lena, what's up?" he greeted cheerfully.  
  
Lifting an eyebrow, she held the coils of fishing line up. "I think this is yours, Duo."  
  
The braided pilot looked at the fishing line for a moment but looking back at Relena, shaking his head.  
  
"No, sorry, that's not mine. Just a second. Hey, Hilde," he bellowed over his shoulder, "did you pack any fishing line?"  
  
There was a muffled response and he nodded before turning back to Relena. "Sorry, but it's not ours."  
  
"No, it's mine."  
  
Relena merely stared at Wufei as he plunked the fishing line out of her hand and returned to his room. Blinking, she turned back to Duo. "It looks like I owe you and Hilde an apology, Duo."  
  
"Nah, don't worry about it," he replied good-naturedly. "I just wished I had thought of it, except for you falling and breaking the vase, Relena."  
  
"Thanks, I think," she said, but with a now genuine smile.  
  
"Hey, Q-man," Duo cried, seeing the other man, "it's good to see ya."  
  
"Hi, Duo. It's been a while," the Arabian stated with a slight nod.  
  
"Well, I see you all in the morning. I'm beat." With that said, Duo stepped back into the room.  
  
Shaking her head, Relena led Quatre to his room. The Arabian complimented her on the arrangement of the room as he left his suitcases beside the bed and followed her back into the hall. He smiled sympathetically as she tried to hide a yawn.  
  
"Thanks for staying up and waiting for me to arrive," he said. "There's no rest for the weary, though, huh?"  
  
Relena smiled. "Just for the wicked," she stated, inclining her head at Duo's door.  
  
The pair laughed quietly as they descended the stairs and entered the inviting kitchen to finish the chat with Trowa and Catherine. 


	4. Part IV

April's Fools  
  
Part IV  
  
[All standard disclaimers apply.]  
  
Relena helped Pagan set out the platters of food for breakfast on the long side table. Since this was suppose to be a vacation, she with Pagan's input had decided that they would be no set times for breakfast and lunch, allowing everyone to wake up and eat as they please. Although they would all meet for dinner, she had tried to keep the meal a very casual affair.  
  
"Everything looks nice, Pagan," she stated, helping herself to a strawberry.  
  
He bowed slightly. "Thank you, Miss Relena. I think that this arrangement will work well. However, I do wonder where that bowl of ice went. I was sure that I set it out to keep the fruit cold."  
  
Relena's smile faded, replaced by a worried frown. "How long ago did it disappear?"  
  
"HOLY MOTHER OF!!" a male voice bellowed.  
  
"Never mind, Pagan," Relena sighed, discarding the rest of her strawberry, "I think we just found it."  
  
Leaving Pagan, in the dining room, Relena headed to the stairs and meet Wufei. With a broad smirk, the Chinese pilot was walking down them. As he passed Relena, he simply handed her the bowl, the clinging bits of ice confirming that it was indeed the missing bowl.  
  
"So, are you even now?" she asked Wufei's retreating form.  
  
"Not quite," he replied, not bothering to turn away.  
  
With a sigh, Relena sat down on the last step. If this prank war continued, the vacation she had so carefully planned would be ruined. However, she couldn't think of anything to make it stop.  
  
Closing her eyes, she began to rub her temples. A headache was threatening to develop, which did not help Relena's mood at all. When someone spoke her name, she merely dropped her hands and looked up.  
  
Seeing that it was Heero, she quickly rose to her feet. "Not now, Heero."  
  
The 01 pilot watched her spin on her heel and headed down the hall. His eyes widened slightly in surprise when she slammed the door leading to the garden. "What was that all about?" he mused aloud.  
  
He shrugged slightly and headed into the dining room. On the second floor, Duo turned to Hilde, making sure that she had witnessed the same scene that he had. She nodded and Duo gave her a big grin.  
  
"Oh, no, Duo," she said, "even I have to draw a line somewhere."  
  
"But think how much fun it will be," Duo coaxed, slipping an arm around her waist and pulling to her to him. "I almost picture Heero's face now."  
  
"Really?" she asked, her tone doubtful. "I can just see Heero and Relena killing us for doing whatever you're planning."  
  
"Hey, I thought you trusted me, babe," he said quietly. Pulling her even tighter to him, he nuzzled her neck.  
  
With a blissful sigh, Hilde closed her eyes. "Okay, Duo, I trust you, though we both will probably regret this later."  
  
Pulling away from her neck, Duo smiled. "Good. Now, come on, babe, we're going to miss the food."  
  
Hilde laughed as she watched he bounded happily down the stairs toward the dining room. She shook her head as she descended more slowly. 'Forgive me, Relena,' she asked silently, 'but I think that this will be fun.' 


	5. Part V

April's Fool  
  
Part V  
  
[All standard disclaimers apply.]  
  
She had stormed through the garden and the wooded path before Relena had calmed down enough to take note of her surroundings. In a few moments she realized she would be at the lake, almost a mile behind the house. Not ready to head back, she continued walked but at a more leisurely pace.  
  
At first, the vacation had seemed like a good idea. She had desperately needed a break from her political life so she could better fulfill her duties when she returned. Also, it had been so long since she had been with the others that it was too tempting to let the chance pass.  
  
"Now I wonder why I even bothered," she muttered.  
  
Immediately, she felt guilty, knowing that she really didn't mean it. She was disappointed and she was letting the black mood taint everything. She didn't think that she would be spending her vacation as a mediator between her friends.  
  
Finally, the lake came into view. As she gazed out at the peaceful water, Relena gradually noticed that the disappointment and frustration were fading. With a contented sigh, she sat down underneath a huge oak tree.  
  
Lulled by the gently lapping water and the soothing birdsong, the weary politician fell asleep.  
  
* * * * *  
  
A few hours later, Heero marched through the lower level of the house. Sensing the Perfect Soldier's dark mood, Quatre looked up from the card game, careful to hide his hand from Duo's prying eyes. Hilde and Sally looked up as well.  
  
"Heero, is something wrong?"  
  
"Have you seen Relena?"  
  
The former Sandrock pilot's eyes clouded for a moment. "Actually, I haven't seen her since this morning."  
  
"Has anyone seen her recently?" Heero demanded, his gaze sweeping over the entire group. He was rewarded with a chorus of no's and shakes of heads.  
  
"She's fine," Trowa said, his eyes never leaving his cards. "No one knows she's here."  
  
"It's a vacation, Heero," Hilde admonished. "Relax."  
  
Everyone in the room seemed indifferent to the politician's absence, surprising him. No plan is fool proof, a lesson he and the other pilots had learned over and over again. Just because no one was suppose to know where Relena was spending her little vacation, it didn't mean that no one knew. It didn't mean that she was necessarily safe.  
  
"Shitmatta," he cursed under his breath, stalking out of the room.  
  
With his eyes following Heero, Quatre set his cards on the table. "You guys play without me."  
  
Trowa and Catherine watched the blonde leave before glancing at each other. The taciturn acrobat merely shrugged, gathered up the cards, and began shuffling. With a slightly uneasy feeling, Catherine leaned back in her chair and waited for her hand to be dealt.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Blinking hard, Relena sat up, momentarily disoriented. Her back ached from sleeping the awkward position for such a long time. Searching for the sun, she was horrified to discover it was about mid-afternoon.  
  
'I've been gone too long,' she realized, hurriedly brushing the leaves and dirt off her clothes. 'They must be worried by now.'  
  
Scolding herself, she began the long trek back to the house. 'You have told someone where you were going, Relena. That was stupid, really stupid. Anything could have happened out here and no one would know where even to begin to look for you.'  
  
Then, a thought hit her. 'Well, they can't be looking that hard for you. They would have found you by now.'  
  
Surely, with all the guys' skills, it wouldn't have been that difficult to find her. She was only a mile so from the house. Plus, she was at the lake, the only attraction for miles.  
  
'They didn't even realize I've been gone,' she thought, her stomach tightening in sadness. It hurt. She thought that her friends would have missed since she had been gone for several hours now.  
  
"Maybe not," she murmured. Trying not to dwell on the distressing thoughts, she continued on, back toward the house.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Any idea where to start?" Quatre asked, matching Heero's quick, efficient stride.  
  
"The lake," the other pilot replied. "There's nothing else for miles."  
  
The Arabian nodded before adding, "We could be overreacting you know."  
  
"Do you want to take that chance?"  
  
"No," Quatre said readily. "No, I don't want to take that chance. If something happened to Relena while we were here, I'd never forgive myself."  
  
Heero knew that feeling. Whenever Relena was involved, things became complicated for him, and he didn't need complications at the moment. He needed to find her.  
  
"Let's go," he said needlessly as they headed down the lane leading to the lake.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Relena was halfway back to the house when she met up with her would-be rescuers. "Hi, guys, going for a swim?"  
  
Heero merely scowled. "No."  
  
"We got worried and came looking for you," Quatre explained, earning a glare of his own from the other pilot. "You should go off like this, Relena."  
  
"I know, Quatre, I know," she replied, hoping she had the right repentant tone. "I was upset and wasn't thinking. I promise to be more careful."  
  
Heero snorted, indicating his doubts about the politician's promise. "Let's go."  
  
"Quatre, have you seen the lake yet?" Relena asked, pointedly ignoring Heero. "It's really quite a view. If you like, we could go. We're already halfway there."  
  
She gave him her most winning smile, tempting him to take her offer. Heero was clearly not amused by Relena or her shenanigans. Yet, they were already halfway there.  
  
"Maybe a quick look," he conceded, earning another death glare.  
  
Happily, Relena linked her arm with Quatre's. As they headed back to the lake, she gave him a detailed discourse of the property's history and charms. Heero followed them, glaring at her back.  
  
'Damn the woman,' he grumbled silently. 'Can't she take her safety seriously for once? Can't she see that both the Earth and the colonies depend on her for peace?'  
  
"So, you can imagine how excited I was when I learned that this whole place was on the market," Relena continued, oblivious to both Heero and his internal tirade. "It's an ideal place for a little getaway. Don't you think?"  
  
Quatre nodded slightly. "It's very nice, Relena. You need to take more of these breaks. It's not good for you to work so much."  
  
'Quatre, what are you saying!' Heero fumed silently. 'She doesn't need you to encourage her reckless behavior.'  
  
"Like you're one to talk, Quatre," she replied, laughing. "Before now, when was the last time you had a vacation? And don't you dare count the Mariemaia Incident. That doesn't count."  
  
The Arabian's cheeks turned pink. "Okay, I admit it. It's been a while, Relena."  
  
"Then, I'll leave you to your work if you will leave me to do mine."  
  
Heero almost sighed in relief as she reverted to her more practical, business-like side.  
  
"Wow, this view is amazing," Quatre breathed as they reached the lake.  
  
Grudgingly, Heero agreed with the other pilot. However, enough was enough. "Let's go."  
  
"Heero, we just got here," Relena admonished, tightening her grip on Quatre's arm.  
  
However, Quatre nodded at Heero. "He's right, Relena. We do need to go. If we stay longer, the others will be worried."  
  
Reluctantly, she allowed Quatre to turn her around and once more she resumed her journey back to the house.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Duo Maxwell, what on Earth are you doing?" Hilde demanded.  
  
The braided man turned around sheepishly to face her. However, she wasn't buying his innocent expression. She placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow expectantly.  
  
"Babe, it's just a simple prank," Duo said, using his most coaxing tone. "No one is going to be hurt."  
  
"That's not the point, Duo," she retorted, not bending one inch.  
  
He sighed and resorted to puppy-dog eyes. "Just imagine Heero's face when he comes in. It's perfect. Come on, please, Hilde."  
  
She studied him carefully, watching him squirm slightly. Finally, her posture relaxed and he breathed a sigh of relief. "This has to be the last prank, Duo. Enough is enough."  
  
He gaped at her. His last prank? "Babe, you can't be serious."  
  
"Fine," she said haughtily. "Try sleeping on the couch, buster."  
  
"Hilde, just give me one more and I quit. I swear."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
He drew an elaborate X over his chest. "Cross my heart."  
  
"Oh, very well," she sighed. However, she was laughing when he scooped her up and spun her around. "Duo, what am I going to do with you?"  
  
"Whatever you like, babe."  
  
However, the mood was broken as the door opened behind them. In a blur of motion, Duo set Hilde down and turned around. His smile of triumphant quickly turned to one of disbelief as he identified the person in the doorway.  
  
"Relena, wait!"  
  
It was too late. The politician screamed as the bucket's contents were dumped on her head. She was quickly drenched with various liquids: vinegar, honey, ice water, ranch dressing, oatmeal, and red wine.  
  
The room fell into shocked silence for a moment until Relena turned to Duo. Reading murder in her eyes, the braided pilot quickly began to back away from her. "Relena, I'm sorry. I thought it was Heero. It was just a harmless prank. I swear . . ."  
  
"ENOUGH!" she bellowed, her shoes squishing as she stalked toward him. "I've had enough of these pranks! If there is one more, I will kill you myself!"  
  
With one more menacing glare, she ran upstairs. The other occupants glanced nervously at each other, except for Heero. Suddenly, he burst with laughter and left the room, leaving the others even more stunned.  
  
Upstairs, a door slammed, indicating that Relena reached her room. "Oh, man," Duo groaned, "this can't be good."  
  
"No," Hilde agreed. "Now, clean up this mess."  
  
"But, babe," he protested.  
  
However, she was already gone. Quatre followed on her heels. Slumping his shoulders, Duo eyed the mess his harmless prank had created.  
  
"This is so unfair." 


	6. Part VI

April's Fools  
  
Part VI  
  
[All standard disclaimers apply.]  
  
"Pagan, where's Relena?" Catherine asked that night at dinner. All the others were assembled at the table. Only their hostess was absent.  
  
The aged servant paused in ladling out the soup. "Miss Relena will not be coming down for dinner this evening."  
  
There were several glares down the table. Duo groaned and threw his hands up in exasperation. "Look, I thought it was Heero! I'd never done it if I had known. Okay?"  
  
"Poor Relena," Quatre murmured, "first the thing with the fishing line and now this. Her vacation is ruined."  
  
"Hey, the fishing line was Wufei, not me," Duo protested as he received more glares.  
  
"It was a matter of justice!"  
  
"You wouldn't know justice if it bit you in the ass," Duo retorted.  
  
"You braided, loud-mouth idiot!"  
  
"Enough." Trowa's voice carried enough power to silence the entire group. With a satisfied smile, his attention turned back to his plate.  
  
Catherine smiled. "He's right. Come on. Let's eat. The food is getting cold."  
  
They all agreed and followed the suggestion. However, unlike their previous meals, the light mood was gone. The meal was completed in near silence before they departed in small groups.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Duo knocked on the door softly. "Relena, can I come in?"  
  
"No."  
  
He shot Hilde an "I-told-you-so" look. She merely shook her head and pointed at the door. With a sigh, he faced it again.  
  
"Relena, I'm sorry. I won't pull another prank while I'm here. I swear."  
  
There was a long pause. "Fine."  
  
"Will you come out now?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Relena," he pleaded.  
  
"No. Good night, Duo."  
  
"I bet Wufei didn't apologize to her," he grumbled as he and Hilde went to their room.  
  
"That's not the point, Duo," Hilde said, standing in front of the door to block his way. "I don't think you realize how much you hurt Relena. You've ruined her vacation, Duo."  
  
"I said I was sorry!"  
  
"I don't you really mean it," she stated. "You sleeping in the room next door. Your stuff is already there. Good night, Duo."  
  
She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. She entered the room and locked the door behind her, leaving Duo alone in the hallway. Cursing rather loudly, he went into his new room and slammed the door.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Quatre was happy to see his hostess downstairs for breakfast the next morning. "Good morning, Relena. Feeling better?"  
  
"Great," she replied with a smile. "I can't believe I lost my temper like that yesterday."  
  
"Well, I can't say you weren't justified somewhat. However, I think all this prank business is over with."  
  
"I hope so," Catherine stated. "I am tired of being on the lookout all the time."  
  
"OH, HELL NO!" a voice bellowed upstairs.  
  
Quatre and Catherine exchanged worried glances. However, to their surprise, Relena merely smiled. She calmly sipped her coffee.  
  
"OF ALL THE INJUSTICE!" another voice howled.  
  
Relena's smile broadened as she happily helped herself to a Danish. Quatre set his mug down and looked at his friend expectantly. With a slight giggle, she nodded.  
  
"Allah preserve us," he murmured, taking a large gulp of his coffee.  
  
Angry footsteps thundered down the stairs. Duo and Wufei were protesting loudly but Pagan merely steered them into the dining room. His expression was neutral, but Relena caught the twinkle of amusement in his eyes.  
  
"Mr. Chang and Mr. Maxwell as you requested, Miss Relena."  
  
"Thank you, Pagan. Gentleman, won't you join us for breakfast?"  
  
The room suddenly erupted in laughter. Even Heero and Trowa joined in. It added to Relena's triumph.  
  
Duo was wearing a sleeveless, lavender sundress. It was the only article of clothing Relena had left in his lonely room last night. Butterflies danced across his body until the dress ended at mid-thigh.  
  
Wufei was in a pale blue party dress. The sleeves were puffed at his shoulders and the rest of the dress was covered in numerous ruffles, ribbons, and bows. He glared at those laughing and muttered something about a sword.  
  
Wiping tears from her eyes, Relena studied the pair again. She wanted to remember this forever. "Guys, sit down and eat."  
  
The pair tried to bolt, but Heero and Trowa prevented their escape. They deposited their frilly comrades into some chairs before returning to their own. Everyone began eating again, except for Duo and Wufei.  
  
"Guys, eat," Relena ordered. "Now that this prank business ended, we can really enjoy our vacation."  
  
With another glare in her direction, the two reluctantly began to eat.  
  
"Maybe this vacation of yours wasn't such a bad idea after all," Heero said quietly, still watching the frilly pair.  
  
Smothering another giggle, Relena couldn't agree more. 


End file.
